An aside about Craigslist rental scams.

So Kim and I are searching for a place in Asheville right now and this involves using Craigslist.  We found this awesome place that had a two car garage and was right beside the university.  Here is the email response we got upon inquiring about the place.

Hello ,
     Thanks for your email and interest in renting my house. I am Michelle Joe the owner of the house you are making inquiry of. Presently, I am in Nigeria. I came over here with my wife; we both acquired the property immediately after getting married. On getting here, I had a thought of selling the house of which i did a research for an agent to handle it on our behalf and after getting one, we got a deal but later my wife advised against that. Presently, it is no longer for sale, under minding the for sale sign up there in the building which I put there before leaving but available for rent at $600 per month (which includes utilities) and a security deposit of $400.  More so now, our purpose of leaving the States down to Nigeria is for an International Christian Conference (I.C.C) meeting, that has to do with establishing of more churches around the West African continent, aimed at propagating the word of God amongst them as to reduce the high rate of criminal activities practiced as the end time is near. We are currently working with the Church of God Mission international, led by Arch-Bishop (Mrs.) Margaret Benson Idahosa.
     Please, I want you to understand that I spent a lot on my property that you have requested to rent, so I will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this house and would want you to treat it as your own because cleanliness they say is next to Godliness. It is not all about the money to be paid on rent or spent; it is all about a good maintenance culture which I want you to adopt on the property. I want you to keep it tidy all the time so that I would be full of smiles whenever I come and above all, a good, strong and tight relationship between us when I come for a checkup. Please one more thing, I wouldn’t like to have any benefit of trust in you because I want to stand in your words that the property would be well taken care of all the time.

I believe you have seen how lovely it is if from only the pictures you saw in my posting compare to the 100% comfort to be derived from it as an occupant. Please note that you will only be able to drive by the house for now but can't have a look at the interior until I have sent the keys and documents of the house to you. Utilities include Water, Trash, Sewer, Gas etc. Please note that, a deposit payment would be required if accepted to have the property rented.

MOVE IN DEPOSIT REQUIRED ONLY: $600
Security Deposit: $400
The address to my house: 55 Sevier Street, Asheville NC 28804 .

SO IF YOU ARE REALLY INTERESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE RENT APPLICATION FORM BELOW.

RENT APPLICATION FORM.
===========================================

FIRST NAME: __________?
MIDDLE NAME: __________?
LAST NAME: __________?
PROFESSION: __________?
PHONE: _______________?
(CELL)PHONE: __________?
(WORK)PHONE: __________?
(HOME)PHONE: __________?
ARE YOU MARRIED: __________?
KIDS: _____ (YES/NO), HOW MANY: ________?
PRESENT ADDRESS: _____________________?
CITY: _______________?
STATE: ______________?
ZIP CODE: ____________?
HOW LONG: ___________IF RENTING
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING: __________?
IF THIS HOUSE IS BEING GIVEN TO YOU, HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND STAYING:  ____________?
WHEN DO YOU INTEND MOVING IN: ______________?
IF YOU HAVE A PET: _________?
NAME OF PET: _____________?
KIND OF PETS: _____________?
HABITS: ___________?
DO YOU SMOKE:  ____________?
DO YOU DRINK:  ______________?
DO YOU WORK LATE NIGHT: _____________?
HOW SOON CAN YOU MAKE THE MOVE IN DEPOSITS REQUIRED ($400): ____________
WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU WISH TO RECEIVE THE KEYS AND DOCUMENTS OF THE HOUSE: _______________?

Looking forward to hearing from you with all this details so that I can present it to my family, pray over it (because I consult the Almighty God before making any decision and if accepted, and have them stored in my file for the purpose of issuing the receipts to you and contacting you. Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys to you, please we are giving you all this based on trust and again I will want you to stick to your words, you know that we are very far apart now and only putting everything into God's hands and hope that you will not let us down.

The house will be available for rent for a period of five and a half years so you have a choice of deciding how long you intend staying there. Here is my number (011-234- 7038083074 or +234-7038083074)

Feel free to call me anytime for more information and arrangements.
God Bless,
M. Joe

Awesome right, upon a little research I found this helpful article.

Well, little miss Michelle probably wouldn't have liked the part where Kim and I had to check yes to drinking.  Hmmm....

In the suburbs.

In the suburbs I
I learned to drive
And you told me we'd never survive
Grab your mother's keys we're leavin'

    At this point in my life I am not a fan of the 'burbs.  For many reasons.  First, an aside.

    This blog originally had high and lofty goals of being my breakthrough with me becoming the next Paul Krugman or David Brooks.  Until I get really inspired and take some more time to write better or get my Masters in English or Writing or something snobbier; this blog will be a bit shorter, more opinionated, and rougher around the edges.

You always seemed so sure
That one day we'd fight in
In a suburban world
your part of town gets minor
So you're standin' on the opposite shore
But by the time the first bombs fell
We were already bored
We were already, already bored

    Well, back to the topic at hand.  The suburbs are in many ways selfish and destructive.  The suburbs lack diversity.  Usually a 'burb is very homogeneous.  All the houses cost approximately the same amount, meaning the people are in the same income/tax brackets.  The yards are basically the same size.  Often times the architecture is even similar.  The classic 'burb will usually be composed of numerous different developments ranging from Stoney Brooke, to Stony Pointe, to New Pointe, and Pointe Brook.  All of these developments have a fancy entrance, which makes an imaginary gate, so people not a part of the latest Pointe will stay away.  These developments are all about exclusion of the have nots and inclusion of the haves.  People get comfy in their "safe" little community.  But they lack any push to go out and see the rest of the community.   The good and the bad parts...

Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling
Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling again

Kids wanna be so hard
But in my dreams we're still screamin' and runnin' through the yard
And all of the walls that they built in the seventies finally fall
And all of the houses they build in the seventies finally fall
Meant nothin' at all
Meant nothin' at all
It meant nothin'

     Another thing that gets me about these 'burbs is how they all look identical.  Take a 'burb in Cleveland, Denver, or someplace in Cali.  Its all the same idea.  You've got your housing section and then you have you damn strip mall with huge swaths of asphalt and big box stores.  You'd think living  hundreds and thousands of miles away would make a difference to some extent, but other than changes in sunshine and natural scenery it's all the same.  You've got your everything store like Target or Wal-Mart, some electronic store like Best Buy, clothing stores like Gap or Old Navy, and then some home improvement place like Lowe's.  

Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling
Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling and into the night

So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I'm still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before this damage is done
 

  My last rant about the Suburbs is the whole urban sprawl thing and its detriment to the environment.  First, urban sprawl is eating up our natural landscape.  If more isn't done to prevent and discourage the the spread of this virus the vast swaths of American will be full of corny gated communities and strip malls.  Really, is that what we want with this great country that we've been blessed with?  Do we want the foot hills of the Smoky Mountains carpeted with developments?  In addition to the destruction of land, these 'burbs are usually designed so people work in the city and then DRIVE home to their 'burb.  This means people are wasting hours upon hours of their lives being stuck in rush hour fleeing the city in the evenings.  In addition to this the amount of pollution created is awful.  Regardless of whether or not the climate is changing, fossil fuels are not in infinite supply.  And the stuff coming out of the tailpipe of the latest SUV or nolongerminivan can't be healthy.  

But if it's too much to ask, it's too much to ask
Then send me a son

Under the overpass
In the parking lot we're still waiting
It's already passed
So move your feet from hot pavement and into the grass
Cause it's already passed
It's already, already passed!

   So, I'm gonna try to bring this all together.  All of these negative aspects focus on two central ideas.  Suburbs lack the connection to community and all the diversity that should go along with a healthy community.  

Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling
Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling again

I'm movin' past the feeling
I'm movin' past the feeling

In my dreams we're still screamin'
We're still screamin'
We're still screamin'